Elizabeth,

What have I done to make you hate me? I have always loved you, provided for you, and yet, that’s just not enough. I don’t ask for much in return, simply love, kindness and respect. Instead, you choose to ridicule me in my own home in front of our very dear friends.

Please apologise to Anne and Charles and promise me it will never happen again. I have found it in my heart to forgive you this time.

If you ever forget to serve mint sauce with the lamb again, you’ll be nursing more than a cracked rib.

Bobby