The age of the PMLs by Trevor Plumbly

And the meek shall suck it up!

Frankincense in raw state

It’s a time for forgiveness and tolerance, but I reckon it’s getting a bit tougher. The odd ratbag doesn’t worry me much, most seem to have some sort of excuse for their conduct, but Power Mad Loonies are self-made and there’s no way I’m going to kiss any of those bastards under the mistletoe (metaphorically of course). We’ve got the UN, NATO and the rest of the alphabet soup of protective agencies to stop us from slaughtering each other, but there are also deluded PMLs hell bent on cramming insanity down our throats by any means available. So forget the wise men and the Frankincense stuff, the message is, ‘They’re coming to get you.’

And a child shall lead them

In the democratic world, the recipe is easy to follow: find a grievance, massage it, then promise to fix it and repetition and a stage presence will do the rest. Hitler proved the theory and Trump, though more of a buffoon, used it effectively. Let’s face it, there’s still folks out there looking for a Messiah and history shows if you bang the drum loud enough you’re sure to get a following, or, as WC Fields put it, ‘There’s one born every minute.’ To be fair, to those reliant on cellphone apps to supplement their intelligence, Trump is an intoxicating mix with carefully measured doses of fear and razzle-dazzle topped off by misogyny and sexism when he feels the occasion suits. Donald isn’t the complete PML, but to be fair he’s handicapped by stuff like the Bill of Rights and the Constitution.

Russian roulette

With much the same logic as Meghan and Harry’s worldwide advertising campaign for privacy, Putin has invaded the Ukraine to fight for freedom. Russia’s fertile ground for PMLs: ever since the revolution the people seem happy to be controlled by one despot or another. Like Hitler in his rise to power, Putin is a planner, content with small gains like Crimea before edging out to ‘liberate’ other neighbours.

Our problem is how do we deal with him? Sanctions don’t seem to be working well; in this day and age it’s probably easier to shift a few billion around than it is to get a driver’s licence in most cities. There is the diplomacy advocated by the fence sitting Frenchman but perhaps he should remember that tea and chat didn’t work in 1939 nor will it work with someone who regards it as a propaganda option. Meantime he can continue to blitz Ukrainian support services, but perish the thought of any retaliation landing on Russian soil. That might ‘escalate’ things; after all he’s got a finger over THAT button and if he pushes it there’ll be nothing left worth fighting for: how’s that for a deterrent?

They also serve

From the little fanatic in North Korea tossing warheads around like confetti to appease his own lunacy, to millions of soccer fans watching games being played in a country where women have no basic freedoms, sexual preference isn’t an option under law and minor transgressions are punished beyond humanely acceptable levels.

Alex Jones

Then there are the disciples: while not fully fledged PMLs they do spread the word. One such is American Alex Jones: Alex is a conspiracy theorist which is an intellectual way of saying ‘daft as a brush’. Alex’s goal in life is to convert reality into a Machiavellian netherworld, thus the Sandy Hook massacre didn’t happen, Neil Armstrong didn’t really walk on the moon and, according to a couple of his followers, the holocaust didn’t really happen and Hitler wasn’t a bad bloke.

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