In a flap by Emily Smart

Text from 4448119 Hi Emily, our record shows that your smear is overdue. We are concerned. Please call us to make an appointment or let us know how we can support you. The young doctor wore a mask – I’m assuming due to Covid-19 not because of the coalface she was about to encounter. As I lay back and thought about virus-ravaged lockdown Britain, I assumed the position, and involuntarily disobeyed her instructions to relax and breathe deeply, clenching every muscle in my body. She began to talk me through the process,… Read More

Carry on camping…without me by Emily Smart

Pack it in The annual tent dust off took place last weekend. As an English person, I came rather late to camping. I say this because the only people I knew in the UK who spent any time under canvas were posh families who would hop on a ferry and drive to the Dordogne every summer for two weeks. We Brits are not a nation of outdoor sleepers. The nearest we get is caravan parks, which only feature on the news when a child has been abducted. New Zealanders however, are made… Read More

Fast forward – from puberty to menopause by Emily Smart

The irony of talking about puberty at the ripe old age of 48 has not been lost on me. Thank you Trevor for reminding me that within the next few years, everything that started at puberty will soon be all over. As I wave goodbye to the once fresh eggs produced by my ovaries, I’ll be saying hello to facial hair, varicose veins and possibly too much spittle around my mouth. Looking back, puberty wasn’t a big thing for me. A late developer, I was still happy in my vest at fifteen… Read More

Trivial Hirsutes by Emily Smart  

Now, I know that looking at me you wouldn’t think that personal grooming would be at the top of my priority list, but I’m afraid you would be wrong. Whilst I seem to have missed out on the ‘female gene’ when it comes to having an interest in men, shopping, clothes, make-up and The Batchelor, I have always been somewhat preoccupied with hair, both growing and removing it. During my teenage years, I experimented with everything from Sun In – natural hair highlighter that was great if you like orange streaks in… Read More

Christmas blog by everyone

It’s that time of year again folks! The time when Trevor wants us to do a joint blog. His idea this year is to choose a well-known person and select a suitable gift or gifts for them. So here we go with Trevor kicking off. Merry Christmas Mr President! Greetings from Trev It’s Christmas time again Donald; you know, caring, sharing and all that syrupy stuff, so I thought I’d send you a few bits and pieces to reassure you that whilst a great deal of folk may prefer to forget you,… Read More