You know you’re getting old when…by Emily Smart
Last week I got a bit of a shock. The government got in touch to let me know that the over 50s can now book their Covid-19 vaccination jab. Momentarily, I thought they had a made a mistake, until I remembered that I will be 51 on my next birthday. When in the name of all things old and senile did that happen?! I am now officially ancient, over-the-hill, destined to spend the rest of my life in adult nappies, getting hip replacements and growing wispy hairs on my chin. If I’m… Read More
In a flap by Emily Smart
Text from 4448119 Hi Emily, our record shows that your smear is overdue. We are concerned. Please call us to make an appointment or let us know how we can support you. The young doctor wore a mask – I’m assuming due to Covid-19 not because of the coalface she was about to encounter. As I lay back and thought about virus-ravaged lockdown Britain, I assumed the position, and involuntarily disobeyed her instructions to relax and breathe deeply, clenching every muscle in my body. She began to talk me through the process,… Read More
Carry on camping…without me by Emily Smart
Pack it in The annual tent dust off took place last weekend. As an English person, I came rather late to camping. I say this because the only people I knew in the UK who spent any time under canvas were posh families who would hop on a ferry and drive to the Dordogne every summer for two weeks. We Brits are not a nation of outdoor sleepers. The nearest we get is caravan parks, which only feature on the news when a child has been abducted. New Zealanders however, are made… Read More
Fast forward – from puberty to menopause by Emily Smart
The irony of talking about puberty at the ripe old age of 48 has not been lost on me. Thank you Trevor for reminding me that within the next few years, everything that started at puberty will soon be all over. As I wave goodbye to the once fresh eggs produced by my ovaries, I’ll be saying hello to facial hair, varicose veins and possibly too much spittle around my mouth. Looking back, puberty wasn’t a big thing for me. A late developer, I was still happy in my vest at fifteen… Read More
verbalberbal 