It ain’t me babe by Trevor Plumbly

You say you’re looking for someone It’s such a blatant excuse for gang hypocrisy that I was surprised to find ‘the big picture’ still quoted. This was on an application for board membership that I was thinking of submitting: the successful candidate would need to be able to articulate strong views, be a team player and, most importantly, be able to see ‘the big picture’. I might have one of those virtues, or even two on the odd occasion, but expecting me to have all three at the same time is a bit… Read More

Dear Mr Bell by Trevor Plumbly

I am assured by some fairly bright folk that an ‘up there’ exists; that being the case, you will probably receive this OK and perhaps ponder on the misfortune you inflicted on us. You are not entirely to blame for the current situation but you did kick things off. History recalls you as a decent bloke, but given to tinkering; unfortunately, like most inventors, in the euphoria of discovery you lost sight of the potential harm you would cause. The 19th Century heralded the birth of technology and no doubt your telephone… Read More

The campaign of terror by Trevor Plumbly

It’s Election Day in New Zealand on 23 September 2017 and the Labour Party is experiencing something of a renaissance under Jacinda Ardern’s leadership. Rise up and talk! Having somewhat recovered my physical well-being, I have decided, since its election time, to apply my thoughts to social matters, but I’m finding it difficult. It is a wondrous time personally: I have regained human form after lying in a cryogenic-like state for the last political term – suddenly, my opinion matters! I am valued and no longer regarded as the cantankerous old git… Read More

Me and IT by Trevor Plumbly

For BH a dear friend and TH a brother outside law From top to bottom It’s not been the best year healthwise: back surgery in December, a Giardia infection in March, followed by an ear infection in July and now ‘IT’ in August. Cancer, I’ve discovered, is a cunning bugger; it doesn’t announce its presence, it just sneaks in to any body part willing to house it. With me it’s the colon. Like most, I’ve never paid that much attention to that particular part of my body; it’s worked as a waste… Read More

Human spillage by Trevor Plumbly

Growing pains Over recent years I’ve noticed an increase in the number of ‘street people’ in my area of Auckland. Most (including me) either avoid them where possible or buy our way out with a couple of coins. In one form or another they’ve always been with us, but the recent increase in numbers should raise greater concern. In the past, they were dismissed as ‘deadbeats’, ‘addicts’ and ‘alkies’; thus the authors of their own misfortune, best left to the Salvation Army or, if things got out of hand, the Police. The… Read More