Here goes with the abridged version of 44 years on planet earth:

I started smoking at the age of 7 and was told by the school nurse (aka Nitty Nora the bug explorer) that this would stunt my growth. I am 5ft 1 inch – she may have had a point after all.

My school years were a mixture of fun, a bit of naughtiness, high jinxs, piss-taking and messing about. This was repeated and magnified x5 when I went to uni, with the addition of ridiculous amounts of alcohol and take-away kebabs.

Having survived higher education, and a stint at Tesco’s behind the till, I went on to work in the advertising, marketing and communications industry. I’ve had a go at selling most things from yellow fats (the actual sector name would you believe) via a man made of butter and more recently I have been flogging aluminium joinery (sexy) and hot water heat pumps (wolf whistle)!

I share a house with my very tall partner of many years and our three cheeky children. We also have a cat (Fat Cat) who treats the place like a hotel, and a daft dog who wants to be best friends with the cat. The cat has other ideas.

If any of the above is of interest then you can read more about life at the madhouse in my posts.

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