Telecomedy by Trevor Plumbly

The Telephone Rings It was that time of the day: housework done, lunch finished and time to relax a bit, I’d just settled into the armchair when the phone rang. Our phone is one of those portable jobs that you can tote anywhere, even to the loo if you’re so minded. While this feature allows you to talk in peace it does have one major drawback. People, (including me) don’t return it to its resting place; thus, if it rings, a minor panic ensues. I’m one of those folk that still think… Read More

A Prevaricator’s Progress by Trevor Plumbly

Ain’t progress grand? Or is it? I wonder if we really understand the ultimate costs of the new technology. Sure, I use it when it suits, like a lot of folk, but lately it’s becoming more of a habit than a convenience and more concerning, it’s a habit increasingly hard to break, with most middle level and major companies directing me to web sites rather than written or spoken contact. More disturbingly still, government departments have happily joined up, all in the name of efficiency and economy.

Long Distance Information by Trevor Plumbly

When my particular piece of modern communication conked out, the manual told me that all I had to do was dial the Freephone number and all would be well. So I did, and discovered the joys of trying to communicate with an international communications company. Unlike the electronic castrati of the domestic answerphone voice, this clockwork secretary offered no apologies for the absence of real people. She opened by announcing that my call was important, and then promptly destroyed that dream by rattling off the numerical options available in zombie-like tones. I… Read More

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction by Emily Smart

People in my line of business (marketing rather than procreating), spend a lot of time banging the drum about the importance of good customer service.  Be nice to people, we say, give them what they want, build a relationship and they’ll keep coming back. Of course, we are all of us customers at some time or other. When I have a bad experience as a customer, I have a seriously good moan about it to anyone who will listen. Whether it’s my other half, my mates, the mums at the school gate… Read More