Telecomedy by Trevor Plumbly

The Telephone Rings It was that time of the day: housework done, lunch finished and time to relax a bit, I’d just settled into the armchair when the phone rang. Our phone is one of those portable jobs that you can tote anywhere, even to the loo if you’re so minded. While this feature allows you to talk in peace it does have one major drawback. People, (including me) don’t return it to its resting place; thus, if it rings, a minor panic ensues. I’m one of those folk that still think… Read More

Long Distance Information by Trevor Plumbly

When my particular piece of modern communication conked out, the manual told me that all I had to do was dial the Freephone number and all would be well. So I did, and discovered the joys of trying to communicate with an international communications company. Unlike the electronic castrati of the domestic answerphone voice, this clockwork secretary offered no apologies for the absence of real people. She opened by announcing that my call was important, and then promptly destroyed that dream by rattling off the numerical options available in zombie-like tones. I… Read More