Jimmy Carr is a Tosser by Emily Smart

Smug I was watching Grand Designs the other night. It’s one of my ‘can’t resist’ programmes, along with Location x3. These shows remind me of Blighty, and I feel like the presenters, Kirstie, Phil and Kevin, are old mates. If they ever did come to New Zealand, I wouldn’t hesitate to invite them over for dinner and a few bottles of vino. Unlike Jimmy Carr. I happened to see him in a Japanese restaurant over the summer holidays. I looked at him, he looked at me; I smiled and he shot back… Read More

A different kind of bedroom action by Emily Smart

I spent last night in bed, cuddled up with Kirstie and Phil. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, you might as well sign off now. And don’t bother coming back!! Kirstie Allsop and Phil Spencer are the presenters of ‘Location, Location, Location.’ An English television programme where couples whose inability to choose somewhere to live, necessitates a camera crew and two property experts to find them a new residence. It’s formulaic, i.e. here’s a shit house that you can afford in your area, here’s a mansion you can afford in… Read More